Twelfth Step Adventures

Suh-WEET!

2009-07-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

Fantastic News!

DAVE CALLED. He left a voice mail message.

Let's give him a call back right now and see if we can get reel this fish in - get him to commit to meeting tomorrow.

That would be Suh-WEET!

Peace,

Danny S - RLRA
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Dirty Deeds

2009-07-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

Step One - Done Dirt Cheap

Rockin' and Prospectin'

Went to see AC-DC last night at Gillette Stadium. Not only were the seats right up front on the field of the stadium but the best part of the evening was on the trip driving up. The opportunity to twelve step someone cropped up.

Took him through Step One right in the car.

The drive from The Peninsula of Doom to Foxboro, Massachusetts - one and a half hours. Perfect - maybe even a little roomy, time-wise, for a Step One.

Here is how it went:
Talk about being in good physical shape . At age fifty four Angus Young has got more energy than many twenty five year olds I see working at the Cape Cod Mall; whose bellies cast ecliptic shadows over size fourteen Nikes. Why are there so many fat, I mean seriously obese people . . . on Cape Cod anyway? I mean really. I have never seen anything like it. (More on that after I lose five or ten myself.)

The Scottish born guitar icon took his Black lacquered SG to . . . . oh wait . . . .this is about alcoholism, not a rock show review, right.
Sorry. . . .I had to explain to Charlie what I know about alcoholism – what it’s ‘symptoms’ are and how they manifest. I know allot. Have to. It's part of what "carrying this message" is all about. I also know from experience that the best way to do this is conversationally – the one-drunk-talking-to another method. Not off a handout. Not out of a guidebook. Not out of an essay like those published in the 12 & 12. Not even writing to a blog readership either. (This blog is not Twelve Step work)

It is illustrated in the Big Book that one-on-one is the only way - and I have found it to be so too. Everyone I know who is in this deal tells me this is their experience as well. 'Mass' sponsoring like at some Holy Roller healing bazaar, but from a podium, bullshitting ones self that this is the way to "carry the message", is not how the co-founders describe “Working With Others" in their book.

Lecturing to him about allergy and obsession alone cannot do it either – and that isn’t very conversational. He’ll feel preached to.

Taking a tutorial stance is OK in some instances as long as the reception room door leading to the real solution has been unlocked first. So I start giving examples in my own life where I could not stop once I started and couldn't “not start” even though I needed to “not start”.

That's what I did with our friend Charlie on the way to see AC/DC.

Guess what happened?

He couldn't match my experiences! Not in the slightest. Charlie drank in order to raise the liquid courage to do something he really felt bad about:

SMOKING CRACK!

He never continued drinking once he got the crack. The prognosis? Charlie is not an alcoholic. Not because I told him he wasn't - but because he could see that he isn't. I merely showed him how to make "the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic." (44:0) as my Big Book tells me to do.

Now if I was charging him money for this I wouldn’t want to let him go at this point – not before I got to swipe his credit card anyway or clean out his checking account – or maybe even get his timid, not so swift but loving grandma to take out a loan on her house to pay me ten or twenty or forty grand for a month of share-sessions, piss tests and making posters.

If you have ever witnessed a 'sales close' during the in-take admittance of a treatment center you would instantly recognize and be able to make the comparison with the "intake" and the manager’s office at the local car dealer. No difference.

I can tell you of instances where folks - one woman in particular comes to mind - who was run through the local facility, Gosnold, here on Cape Cod not once or twice but three times that I know of and possibly even more after relapsing immediately upon release and exiting Gosnold's treatment facility. Unconscionable! The greed and arrogance of the people running that facility is astounding. It ought to be investigated by the Massachusetts Attorney General's office. Why was she rerun through time after time after time - probably even against the facilities own written and apparently scoffed policies?

The answer is simple: Uh, she was not out of money yet!
And she was desperate enough to be willing to pay it. Desperate people do desperate things and too often there is someone standing there waiting to exploit that simple human fact. ANYONE can become a certified alcoholic or drug addict if they just show up and write a check and suffer a few months of easy multiple choice testing. Thus kind of stuff is not limited to The Peninsula of Doom either. It is all over over the country. If the check does not bounce no one is going to tell them any different. I have NEVER heard of anyone getting a refund from ANY treatment center because the administrators and counselor discovered that they were not real alcoholics and therefor could not help them. And I am quite certain I never will.

If I were a money charging "addictions cousleor" what I would do now is tell Charlie,

"Charlie I can still help - and you can still pay- because even though I only have the solution for and the experience with alcoholism and you are not an alcoholic but a drug addict . . . . guess what? ALCOHOL IS NOW A DRUG. We can still do business! Yippee Ai Oh Ty Ay! Now lets start running that short stack of credit cards you have there. . . K?"

Well there is some difference. If you relapse after the treatment people deliver their goods to you the treatment center will not give you a refund and will incredibly tell you it’s YOUR fault -- whereas the car dealer will be forced by their own good business practices, not to mention the Attorney General's office, to make good on the product sold. Treatment Centers will even exploit your desperate state by informing you of this beforehand.

Can you imagine a car dealer telling you, "Now listen Mr. Jones after you pay for this vehicle we will do all we can to see that you get it but frankly, you may never actually take delivery - and even if you do it the car might just up and disappear one day. If it does,there are no refunds."

You would have to be puh. . . ritty desperate to engage in the transaction with a disclaimer like that one, wouldn't you? I believe that is called adding insult to injury or maybe in this case the reverse: Injury THEN insult.

You know . . . there is nothing like desperation – the flames of raw and terrorized emotions tearing through a life and family as hot and deadly as flames and smoke through a South Bronx tenement.

Then again I am not twelve stepping Charlie to screw him out of his money, am I ?

So what does Charlie think about this ? Well, Charlie is very perceptive. Finally, after a couple of countless AA meetings and decades of bull-doodie, POP-AA indoctrination, he figures then that he is not a real alcoholic - not the kind described in the Big Book, anyway. Not the true alkie conveyed by "Alcoholics Anonymous the eponymous spiritual volume for whom the Twelve Step Program was designed and painstakingly delineated in that book.

Charlie also recons he cannot stop going to AA meetings because it has become a social thing for him. He has no other friends who aren’t taking substances like EtOH or drugs and Charlie feels that he needs to secure himself among people who even though some of them may relapse once in a while, at least they are living inside periods of being clean and sober.

He just rotates them in and out of his social circle as they use - cleanup - use - cleanup and he says that he is able to remain clean and sober himself - by association.

Maybe he does. But now it seems our pal Charlie has got as AA meeting addicting to rise above. Now I guess we'll have to get together again to make sure Charlie knows the difference between an "Opened" and "Closed" meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Hey! I'm Twelve Stepping at a fraekin' AC/DC concert here - I should remember everything?

Peace,

Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

The Torch Might Be On The Ass

2009-07-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

When you are in this Twelve Stepping deal for while – intensely working with other alcoholics you realized that everyone who says that they want to stop drinking are telling the truth. Sometimes the self-pity we see and hear is nothing more than that - nothing more than the cries of a person who has a hot torch on his ass.

We haven't even gotten that far yet with Dave. As far as we know Dave doesn't really even consider his problem that serious. But that could be a verbal manifestation of his male bravado - ego talking.

Prospects are supposed to not want to drink as much as they do – they know what you want to hear when asked that question but they haven’t the complete honesty to say, “Hell no. I love my Budweiser man! I just want the problem drinking has caused me to go away.”

They want that Holy Alcoholic Trinity: The girl, the car and the job. Mobility, Prestige, Money and Pussy.

I don’t know if Dave is going to fall into this category. We cannot know. Hell we don’t know if he even needs this drastic solution that I might offer him.

I do know that I have no one with whom

to work this week and I am going to have to get cracking on another poor soul if this Dave fellow does work out.

There is a fellow named Gary who actually told me the truth. Heck out the link to my main blog and do a "search" for "GARY" if interested in reading about it. It is one interesting story.

I should not have let my pipeline of prospects dry out like this.

I will post all this week as I turn the knobs up to eleven to obtain more leads and convert them into prospects. I’ll also continue to call David. Stay tuned and I’ll update frequently.

Peace,

Danny S - RLRA

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Called Dave (again) To Meet Up With Him This Evening

2009-07-27T16:57:00.000-07:00

See If You Can Guess What Happened. The video is the hint.

Day One With (or without) Dave - Twelve Step Call

2009-07-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

Working with others seems odd at times. Those of us who have experienced the removal of the desire to drink - recovery - as the result of the Twelve Steps get a little excited about it all. Already we get VERY excited! What we have tried and tried and tried to do ourselves again and again and again for so many years just ‘happens’ one day without us even trying to make it happen.

No fighting. No running from temptation. It is just gone . . . kapoot . . . . and it happens fast and it happens as the consequence of an even more astounding spiritual awakening.

This is not some generalized fuzzy feeling of well-being like what comes from a great ice-cream cone or a “good share” in an AA meeting. Hell no. It is so much more than that. It is rapid, powerful and enduring and so when we can tell someone that we can show them how this happened and that if they want it all they have to do is what we did - it stands to logic that the person being presented with this solution ought to have dropped the phone receiver already and the sound of screeching rubber coming to an abrupt stop out to be the next sound we hear before we even hit the “off” button on the phone.

When this does not happen it seems very odd. Man, they should have been begging to have the solution NOW and be willing to do anything to get it! And it is common that it does not happen.

I called Dave today to set up the time for our first 'session'. I was hoping to change our plan from this afternoon to this evening or tomorrow since I had forgotten when we spoke last night that I was committed to a BBQ at my son's Boy Scout summer camp. Today is the first day and parents are invited.

He didn't pick up the phone. A voice mail message was left. I told him that I we were going to a an AA meeting - a literature based meeting in Brewster, MA where there are enough Twelve Step proponents and the folks are not so long on fellowship and as short on the steps as many of the other Groups are in the area.

Cape Cod is not exactly a bastion of Twelve Step recovery. It is very heavy on watered down bullshit lead by the usual proliferation of the worst kind of meeting to ever hit our Fellowship - the Open Discussion Meeting. WHURP. . . . I think I just puked in my mouth.

If it weren't for the inordinately high percentage of drunks on this peninsula it would hardly pay to even go to meetings once recovered. But fresh meat can be had there - as long as the "just show up and don't drink one day and try to make it till midnight" folks don't pollute him first with the "meeting makers make it" routine that I have witnessed to be so harmful to so many real alcoholics.

He never returned the call and it is now 10:30 in the evening. Not looking real good right now - but we'll try him again tomorrow - see if he is "one of us" an dif he is - if he is as desperate as he will need to be to take the actions necessary to experience a full recovery.

Maybe he read yesterdays article and saw that he was going to take the first threee Steps today? NAH. If he's a real alcoholic his head is stuck way too far up his own ass to be Googling for and actually reading Recovery Blogs.

Peace,

Danny S - RLRA
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Getting with Dave

2009-07-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I so love when a new prospect for the Twelve Steps and AA Fellowship of the Spirit shows up.

The call came in today. It was a voice-mail from a buddy named Josh - says he's got a friend he wants to introduce and who wants to stop drinking. I call Josh back for a rundown.

Josh has been an acquaintance for a number of years and we see each other at the gym. We met through a protegee of mine who is sober fifteen years and whom for that Josh holds great respect and so through Step One Josh went.

It was a "FAIL".

Josh could not admit powerlessness over EtOH. He could not admit it because it was not true - not his truth. Alcohol was a scourge to him and to others in his family but his truth is that all he had to do to lick the problem was "Just don't' drink".

There is nothing wrong with "Just don't drink" - not when you aren't a real alcoholic there isn't anyway.

When we went through Step One out of the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" Josh learned what the AA "description of the alcoholic" is.

Guess what? He didn't fit it! Oh he couldn't stop once he started - that much is true - his truth. Still Joshes solution was simply to not take the first drink thereby setting off the physical craving. In other words he even though he suffered form the physical side of the malady he was not afflicted with t he mental part - that inability to leave it alone despite the inability to stop. He just doesn't drink. Period. He hasn't had a drink now in years knowing this about himself - knowing that he is not a real alcoholic but a problem drinker with an easy solution. "Put the plug in the jug!"

This is the absolute beauty and simplicity of Step One. It filters out the non-alcoholics from the alcoholics. God it is SO frakin' simple! I cringe at the thought of all these newcomers out there trying to extrapolate some imagined "step One" code out of the Twelve and Twelve.

Josh has become a cool referrer of others to me over the years because now whenever he comes across someone needing help with their drinking problem I am the first one he thinks of - I am the guy that spared him a lifelong commitment to AA meetings when it wasn't necessary.

I get Joshes guy's number and some vitals - he is single - girlfriend dumped him because of his drinking - no kids - mid thirties - salesman - another one? lives nearby here on the Peninsula of Doom - hasx gone to a few AA meetings but nothing serious. Hopefully there will not be too much deprogramming involved and we will be able to get him focused less on the meetings and more on the Steps. We shall see. I'm calling him now.

_____

The call went well with David. It seems that his drinking is "not that serious" - according to him anyway. He' s been a heavy partier all his life and now within the last two years he has been experiencing black outs and the inability to stop whenever he wants. That is a good sign. Yes I said good sign. The more hopeless he is the better his chances.

"OK. Let's meet" I tell him.

Tomorrow, Sunday, July 25th we will meet at Starbucks in Mashpee. David doesn't know it yet but he is going to be taking Step One tomorrow - then if he passes muster he will take Step Two and Step Three - right in Starbucks. The poor SOB won't know what hit him -- not at first at least.

Somewhere in the conversation David got a little rushed and I sensed that he wanted to go. Maybe it's nothing. I am to call him in the morning to set up the time we will meet for our "coffee". Mwaaaahhahahaha!

Everything will be documented here as it happens - as we see just much of drowning man our new prospect is and whether or not he even wants to stop drinking forever. You are invited to join in this incredibly spiritual process we call a Twelve Step Call. This page will be update with new information tomorrow night.

In the meantime please say a prayer for David and for me that I do the right thing - that I keep my self out of this process and that I can truly be helpful to David as well as you dear reader - His will be done. We do not know yet if he is alcoholic but we are soon to find out. So is he. If I do my job right. Stay tuned for the Blow by Blow Step One process on a brand new prospect.

Peace,

Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Alcoholic

EMAIL FROM MARY

2008-12-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

Danny,
Talked to John he will stay in Catumet for 30 days ,well it has been one week yesterday he went there sounds good. Just an FYI.
Mary

***************************************

Mary,
Once again he has taken the easy way out - The month-long breeze of happy horseshit. He' s been doing these "rehab" stints for years. Does it make sense the 2008 edition will be any more effective?

What will be so "special" about this time. Just the perchance "click"? PHULEEZE!

Rehabs don't work - Counseling doesn't work. They NEVER EVER DO. EVER!

For hard drinkers who are not real alcoholics and for certain types of drug addicts they do have some successes but John is NEITHER. They don't work - not for alcoholics of John's type - of my type, - our type - real alcoholics. We are talking about people, with "certifications" who do not even KNOW what I am talking about - who must not admit that there is any such thing as a "real alcoholic" for fear of losing their jobs or having to deal the lie of their own drug and alcohol abuse.

They will take him in there over and over and over as long as the money doesn't dry out through his health insurance. They are killing him - slowly - on the installment plan. He is screwed. Its always the easy way out for him and that's all that this represents. Sorry.

He does not want to do the difficult thing - the thing that I did and have been bending over backwards to show him. He would rather glide in to a 29 day happy acre stay with people who know NOTHING about ALCOHOLISM. NO THING! If they did they would tell him and he would run out of there as fast as he runs away from what I tell him. They haven't a clue and think they do. They will kill him and I have seen it again and again and again and I could cry. I cannot be positive when my experience tells me he's all wrong and that Gosnold is all wrong for him. He won't listen. And he's worse off now than the day I met him. It is such a shame. I don't know if I can put any more deprogramming time into him.

A month of crap is a lot to unload and I may just have to let him die. If he won't listen - then there' nothing I can do. I fear I have failed him for the last time.

Not everyone CAN recover. He may one of those alcoholic who just does not have the capacity to be honest. If he does, then I haven seen it yet. It look very bad for him from my perspective. I am sorry. He will get out and drink again almost immediately and I will take one more run at him - but the second you or anyone picks him up and brushes him off - lets him keep his job - makes him a meal - drops off his laundry - gives him a ride - gets his rent paid - whatever! Then he will be fucked once more.

Peace,

Danny S

Gosnold - A Rockin' Treatment Center?

2008-12-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

And John Z gets the gig.

Something strange happened today. Someone gave me a Fender Stratocaster that they found abandoned in a parking lot here on the Peninsula of Doom. It’s a black Fender with a white pick guard, has three single coil pickups, is duct taped over the volume knob and needs a major cleanup - but it seems definitely reparable to me. I plugged it into a 30 watt Peavey and played it. Not horrible tone.

But here’s the kicker it has got two patient ID stickers that read “Gosnold Treatment Center” on it. I shit you not. I have no idea what this means or if it means anything. I hate “looking for signs” and reading mystical stuff into everything and all that spooky stuff but there is definitely something odd about how this happened. All I can say is WTF?

I find it odd and strange that I just bought my son a new Les Paul -- that I am in the market for a new axe myself and here comes this piece our of nowhere and for free - an instrument that has obviously seen some heavy duty action and probably has a more elaborate drug history and seen the inside of more crack houses than a NYPD Bronx rookie assigned to the Four-Two in the Bronx PLUS I John Z just happens to be in the very same facility detuning ---- oh sorry, I mean detoxing in Gosnold, right now.

Once more - WTF?

But now the main story - John is staying for a month. I can't say that I thrilled with that prospect. John is not suffering from an illness that only a 28 day stay in a treatment center can conquer. What John has is an illness that only a spiritual awakening can conquer and unless he gets that, but soon, I'm afraid when he comes out of "treatment" he won't fell bad enough to go to that drastic length. I've seen it a hundred times. DAMN! And I like John too!

Here is the email I that I have just received from Mary:

"Hey Danny, John is at Gosnold till tom. he left me a message he was going to Catumet for 30 days his counselor got him in.He got away with yet another Christmas (no gifts) only kidding "

I can only pretend to be thrilled with this idea.

Tomorrow: Why I wish John would not stay for thirty days.

Peace,
Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com/

Detoxing John Z

2008-12-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

John does not appear to be nearly as deflated as I was when I hit bottom. Not as lowdown in spirit and ‘done’ as others I have witnessed in this avocation. Even in his alcoholically stimulated state he is way too smarmy - much too self-assured and still well ensconced on the imaginary throne of “King Genius” where he reigns over all he perceives - to be experiencing the kind of abject soul sickness and desperation that is the alcoholic bottom. He tries to appeal to my ego by telling me how wonderful I am and how I am his only friend and all that bull-crap designed to get me wrapped around his little finger.

I am not to thrilled about this. In reality - - I wish he were in worse condition than he is.

Then he might hurt enough to have some of that self-centered - ego-protecting armor damaged enough to allow some humility to seep in. Right now I see none at all. Not a speck.

I am convinced that he is a real alcoholic though and that moment of inner pain and severe loss of all hope can come at any moment - when least expected - so I dare not assume. I will put in the time for this man. For now anyway.

Gosnold. It’s a name. Bartholomew Gosnold was a Brittish explorer who in the early 1600s gave Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the Elizabeth Islands their names. These days on the Peninsula of Doom also known as Cape Cod, Gosnold is a word that flips from the tongue and off the lips of nearly every resident like a fleck of chewed, yet un-swallowed meat sucked out from between two teeth.

It’s an institution and everyone has heard of it. Like “Belleview” in New York - just say the name Gosnold on the POD and absolutely no one thinks you are talking about the town off the coast off the Vineyard in the Elizabeth Islands - or the street that runs along the coast in Hyannis. Or about ol’ dead Bart for that matter. They know you are talking about “REHAB”.

They tried to make me go to Gosnold, I said, “No, No, No, No.”

Yeah, they wish.

John suggests that he go to Gosnold. I really can’t disagree. Not for their wonderfully effective treatment or their highly successful recovery model. They have neither. Not for the true alcoholic they don’t. I wound like to get him in there where he can be safely detoxed and given the appropriate benzos like Ativan or Librium. If they won’t take him then it will have to be my basement where we can do the Wolfman thing. Lock him in till the full moon is over, monitor his vitals just in case we need to rush him into Cape Cod Hospital - and in a few days, after the EtOH is out of him we can then get down to business. If you understand the physical craving - the allergy - portion of alcoholism then this makes perfect sense. If you don’t, I hop you rent too appalled. A little will be OK though, but trust me we who have been blessed to do this stuff on a regular basis have been through this all before - some of us hundreds of times.

The fine folks at Gosnold tell John that they will not have a bed for him until Monday and that he needs to call back in the morning at 10 AM to confirm his ‘reservation’. That’s OK by me. What will happen is that we can get him on speaking with someone who will actually do his “intake” over the phone. Then he just need arrive alive Monday morning and he can begin with the folks there. Nancy, my non-alcoholic wife is off from work on Monday and has already volunteered to play chauffeur for John - as I will not be around on Monday morning.

I tell John I’ll see him in the morning and me and Kristen leave. We decide that we could use a little unwinding after all this and so we head to for The Mall. I’ve been wanting a new earring anyway and Kristen can talk me into something for herself I am sure.

Scarey Monsters at the Door

2008-12-06T16:07:00.000-08:00

The lights were out. The room was dark. I could hear music through the door coming from inside John‘s ‘apartment‘. U2 I believe. Certainly Bono, “Uno. Dose. Tres. Catorce . . . ”.

"Do you hear that" I said in my Irish whisper to my nine year old daughter, Kristen. She shakes her head back and forth.

"Shhh. Listen . . . . He's in there. I can hear music playing".

This was not her first encounter with locked doors today. The reason she was even with me on this call stemmed from a harrowing experience less than half and hour before. Harrowing at least from her perspective. I had tried leaving her home but just three minutes from the house on the way to John's my cell phone rang. It was Kristen.

“Daddy some one is knocking on the door” she said.

“So? ” Something was wrong. Her voice was too quivery for everything to be OK. This was the first time that she had ever been home alone for a real live ‘door knocking’

“I told you . . don’t answer it. Who is it?”

“I don’t know. I ran upstairs and I am hiding in your bedroom.” locked in. In our bed. under the covers with her new Nokia I got her last month. “I’m scared” was all she could say, too upset to answer my question and she went quickly from quiver to a full out cry. That's all a daddy ever needs to hear to shake the world from the ground up. I think I left about twenty dollars worth of Michelin Man on Route 28 making a very Bronxy U-turn and headed back home.

She has never seen me drunk. I stopped drinking and was fully recovered three years before she was born. But she has seen a few others as shitfaced as shitfaced can be.

Now she is with daddy and instead of an imaginary monster on the outside of the door trying to get in to her - there is a real alien creature inside - a hideous monster - cunning, baffling and powerful, waiting for us - and we are trying to get in at it.

Almost immediately John opens the the door. He lets us in right away. John likes me, so there really isn’t much resistance to me ever. That is always a good thing. He is in his PJs and for a second they look like Dr. Dentons, then I realize its just because of the matching colors’ of hi s top and bottom.

He is drunk of course. Not slobbering, falling down drunk piss and crap the pants blitzed like a college frat amateur but in an EtOH diluted state of what I call "physically level drunk” the kind of drunk that functional alcoholics learn to reach so they can continue to work at their job and buy food - maybe even pickup the kids from school and drive them to soccer practice.

Meanwhile the mental arrogance, know-it-all-istic twisted thinking and manipulative freak can operate not like a real human being but more like a greasy over lubricated metal clockwork removed from its casing - cranking away at itself, busy and purposeful to look at but still not really getting anywhere because it isn’t hooked up to anything - like an aberration of human nature. Like an alcoholic.

All real alcoholics are freaks.

“Thanks for coming over” he says

“Well thanks for having me.” I say.

“You know, Danny, I wish I wasn’t in this position again like this. I really thought that I was going to be able to do this on my own.”

“John, we spoke about the obsession and the craving. You and your brainiac mind told me that you understood it.”

“I do. I do understand it.” he said.

"If you did you - if you truly did and if you thought that it applied to you then you would not have said what you just have". I told him and it was true.

How could someone truly admit powerlessness and still think that they could stay sober without divine help?

Either my prior work with John did not include the successful taking of Step One and I had failed him or Johns failure to complete his housecleaning - his inventories - simply shot his alcoholic ass straight back to Step Zero.

He made a decision. He said he would turn his life and his will over to God and began setting pen to paper to make a beginning.The problem was that he wasn't very "strenuous" about it. He tried to pawn off on me an old inventory he had written some time in the past for another sponsor. Where was his effort then? There was none. Then he simply ran out of steam altogether. That decision, as vital as it was, was not worth Jack's crap and had hardy any lasting effect.

“John so far you have had all these fucking “epiphanies” and all you have done so far is misuse the information and the process. I don’t think you have had any revelations at all - not in a spiritual sense anyway. You know John, we aren’t suffering from an illness that only an intellectual awakening can conquer . . . . . We are suffering from an illness that only a spiritual awakening can conquer. You keep getting smarted and smarter - - and sicker and sicker.”

The look on John’s face is two parts grin and one part wince. My words are a rather a clever way of putting it and John knows it. He admires my way with words - I’m a writer ferchrysakes - but if the meaning of my words are wasted on him then that means that they are not worth shit.

Hey let's all remember those clever things that guy said from the podium. You know those things that he pulled up and out of his solar plexus - from his heart - from his experience bank? Then we can repeat them and sound cleaver and pithy in meetings. It’ll sound like we too have had those experiences even though we haven’t. Just like quoting the Big Book without having any experience with the Twelve Steps - except new material - good for laughs, uh huhs and “Hey that’s a good one”s. “I’ll have to remembers that one.” Yeah. That’s the ticket!

John Z CALLS!!!

2008-12-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

All right! BOILED AS AN OWL he is -- but at least he has called.

This is exciting news. So it looks as though John Z might be climbing back into the picture. This morning he is anyway. Well, maybe climbing is not exactly the right word to describe it. Staggering I think might be a better one to use. Yeah. I think staggering more apropos in this case.

Apparently John is shitfaced. Nothing new there. By now, the time I have spent getting to know John while he is ossified-to-the-gills has surely bypassed any measure of time spent with him when he has been lucid. That is pretty typical though prior to recovery.

I received a phone call from him last night and I had fallen asleep. I heard the dam phone ring form my "writing room" across the hall but was too tired, lazy or entranced into the comfort of my slumbers to get up and get it. That's what I get for not taking my phone with me wherever I go. But he didn't answer when I returned the call about an hour later. He is not picking up hi sphone this morning either.

A few minutes ago I sat down hoping to get some writing done and checked my email first. Mary, Johns' significant other of twelve or so years, who if you'll remember had left him and headed for the mainland, off of the Peninsula of Doom for higher and safer ground - sent me this email this morning. I just read it minutes ago.

"John and I talked yesterday he sounds desperate told him call you or ER he missed his doctors appt. I am going to Cape but not willing to see him in this state kills me but I am trying to take everyones advice. I just hope he doesn't die."

Me too Mary.

That does not mean he won't though. God, I really hate when this shit happens. I have not had anyone leave the planet in a body-bag for a couple of years, now. AT least not that I have found out about. So many men I never hear from or about again I think it would be wishful thinking to assume that all of them are still alive. Over this past year alone, I have personally known an been close enough to to enough now deceased members, but I have not sponsored any of them. I really would not relish spending this Christmas season in mourning over John Z. That would suck eggs, big time.

I guess I'll have to go over and see what's up. If he i s there I'll check his vitals and if I am unhappy with what I find I may have to call a nurse in for more professional evaluation. If he needs hospitalization she'll be in better position than I to know. Hey we're not doctors right? Or nurse. That's why I keep one handy. Not all Twelve Steppers are as fortunate though - I just happen to have lined up a "former junkie" Registered Nurse whom I keep handy for these matter.

She also happens to be my little sister. There are are lots lots of 'medics in "the rooms" - both AA and NA - you know. It must be something about that liquid morphine that hospitals keep stashed away on those lock down cabinets that just seem to 'call' out to some folks. These AA members can be extremely useful for Twelve Stepping activities and I think it is a good idea to make use of them. Shit, even though a prospect or a protegee drinks - you might get to save the life of a doctor or a nurse by getting them involved. You never know.

Got my little Twelve Step 'kit' ready and off I go to John Z's house. It is 2:51 PM and his place is only in the next town over - Hyannis.

This ought to be interesting. Or boring. You never know. But it sure as shit is necessary- maybe for John and although I feel fine today, I believe it will be necessary for me in the long run of my sober life living as a recovered alkie - a moniker I truly hope Johnnie Z will share with me one day soon. Wouldn't THAT be a gas? Me and John Z - going out together to help other alcoholics recover from alcoholism . . . . . . . . MAN!

Peace,

Danny S

Turtle Bones Escape The Crack Whores . . .

2008-11-28T10:42:00.000-08:00

. . . . But May Have Stalled On the Tracks
I have not heard from Turtles Bones, 'Barry F" if you have been following along - in a while. Too long - not since he left The Peninsula of Doom really. That concerns me.

He survived the tweakers and the crack whores at the Craigville Motel in Hyannis.

That in itself is is a miracle - especially the naked one who, several times during the week long course of his visit here, came to his door at three in the morning to "borrow a cigarette" or whatever else she might manage to put into her mouth - which of course would have made our Twelve Stepping friend indebted - perhaps to purchase a rock or two to smoke. Barry is not a drug addict though so we had that fact in out favor.

Barry is an alcoholic not an addict. While a drug is a drug is a drug - alcohol is not!

God those chicks were scary. Not scary in the sense that they could run out of their rooms to jab an icepick into my forehead or anything - but scary in a more visceral and blood thirsty sense. They slinked and peeked through the curtains every time I walked by. Sometime I would hear the squeak of a door opening a crack behind me and feel eyes upon me - but when I turned back to look a slam of the shut door went off just before my eyes could catch whoever or whatever had been there the second before.

I could tell they were female. Just by the silhouette of their heads. they peered out in pairs; milling back and forth in the shadows of their darkened room. Then for a second they would be gone - only to appear again as one side of curtain brushed aside.

Why would this place be allowed to sink to such a state. This is Cape Cod! All summer long this "Craigville Motel" is filled with families and kids who come to vacation here on the Peninsula of Doom. There is a decent pool in the center of the court. OK so the rooms aren't exactly furnished like the Plaza - well not even like a Marriott -OK not even like a Holiday Inn - but still - they don't have to become portals to hell do they?

I suppose they do. The local police must be aware of it. The owners of the motel I am sure are. Yeah, but money talks, right?

Now you have to know Barry and me and most self-absorbed, self-centered and deranged alcoholics. For us to be walking amongst drug crazed and naked twenty something year old naked girls who are dying to have you check into their bedrooms and are practically begging for it whole we do nothing more than shrug of a few goosebumps and laugh about it - is nothing less than a miracle. It is amazing how that works when motives are where they should be, isn't it.

Despite the environs, Turtle Bones made his getaway unscathed - un-tempted and unharmed.That means that he is right about to begin making his amends and he is stalling out -- right on the tracks.

He headed back upstate - we have done all of our one-on-one work - inventories - first step, ect, and we can continue now through a combination of periodic visits, email phone ect.

Well, right in the middle of Step Eight, ol TB turns up in North Carolina - halfway to Florida. Just upped and gone!

So. OK. Lets see now.. . . . 'Unfinished Amends' . . . . . . . total dispensing of accountability . . . now now. . . where might his be going . . .. I wonder. Hmmmmm.

This happens a remarkable number of times - just when the prospect is feeling some freedom he bolts. I really hope that TB isn’t going to be another one. Thing about it is --- I do expect him to be. That sucks.

Turtlebone's story will not likely turn out well.

Peace,

Danny S

Who Wants To Talk To A Drunk?

2008-11-20T07:16:00.000-08:00

Finally, John Z, has lost his long-time female companion. She and I have communicate much during the time I attempted work with John but After twelve years she has given up on him. Good for her. But still it is sad. This is a note I received from her today along with my response to her.

Danny,

Hope you are well. Brookline sure is different, a little culture shock. John is a mess. I am sure you know that.

I try to talk to him every night but I am losing my patience quick. Who wants to talk to a drunk?

he did take a trip up to see me and his grand daughter thought it would have an impact but wrong!!

If you or your family ever need a place to stay in Boston, please call. Take care

Mary

********************************************************************

Mary,

Thanks for staying in touch. Who wants to talk to a drunk? Well, believe it or not, I do! But that's my thing and you sure shouldn't have to. I left him a message last week telling him that he was fired. Had to do it. Fact is that he is not willing to do anything to solve hi s drink problem - and I have several men in the wings who need my time. What I am offering him is quite drastic and difficult to do and where the rubber hits the road . . . .on the Twelve Steps - John would still rather drink than go through the severe Program that will spiritually free him to stop and remove the insane desire from him - and that's all there is to it. He doesn't want the consequences but the consequences haven't gotten bad enough for him to want to stop. If they ever outweigh the benefits maybe he'll want to stop. He wont be able to of course - but that's what our Program is all about - helping people stop who can't. Prerequisite is that he has to want to - and he's no there. May never get there.

He knows how to find me. And I will check in on him periodically too. We DO PROMOTE our services it isn't all about attraction only - so I will be proactive in at least letting him know I am available.

I had a guy (Turtlebones) check into the Craigville motel last Thurs. He came down from somewhere upstate MA. He' gone through all the Steps this last week and is leaving to go back upstate a FREE MAN!!! He was here last night as we were going over the last Step - Step Twelve and Nancy saw him - she didn't recognized him. He's a new man - Its staggering. He's done everything that John is NOT WILLING to do. His story could be Johns story. But Barry wants to stop drinking and John does not. John wants to blink with immunity and that is an insane idea. Don't blame John entirely. I have delved deep into him and I am of the opinion that he is very, very sick man - even sicker than you may be aware. One of the worst I have ever encountered and that's saying a lot, trust me. He is so far beyond human aid that I am convinced he will likely die from alcoholism unless he forgoes all human help - rehabs, hospitals, counselors et al - and seeks the spiritual solution.

I am always here. For you, John, the family etc. Please remember that and let his mom know too. Write or call anytime.

Peace,

Danny S

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Later . . . for John Z

2008-11-14T16:34:00.001-08:00

and Hello Turtlebones!

Well .. . . . well . . . and oh well! John Z had been a very promising prospect but he has not returning my calls for several days now. He did drink. I had taken him to Gosnold, a local windup joint, for their very decent detox facility and instructed John to call me the night before his release and to stay at least 72 four days. He didn't call. Instead he left against medical advice and took a bus home. Said he didn't want to "inconvenience" me by sticking with 'the plan' and calling me. Complete bullshit of course. Immediately upon his arrival home he hit a bottle of vodka the way a lost man out a desert hits a tin ladle of well water after he is rescued. The bus home was not a simple ride home. It was his rescue from the desert.

I say him yesterday morning walking along the highway to his job a mile away and tried to call him but he never picked up.

No matter. I will be bringing this Reality Blog up to0 date and it will include what actually led ep to Johns dropping out of recovery. Stay tuned over the next week or so. For now, no matter . . .

. . . . .. I received a call three days ago from Barry F. -- AKA "Turtlebones". I met Turtlbones - the name I will explain later on - at a windup joint run by a service called Highpoint. They run the TSS facility in New Bedford, MA , home of Moby Dick and Bill W's first drunk - tasty little number called the Bronx Cocktail - if you can believe it. What is a Bronx cocktail you ask? its a simple little concoction that is nothing more than a perfect martini with added orange juice. In the summer of 1917 2nd Lieutenant Bill Wilson is twenty two years old in the coast artillery unit located at Fort Rodman, Massachusetts.

Today it is a the Fort Rodman Military Reservation and marine campus of the University of Massachusetts. I had the honer of doing an AA History talk there at the UMASS campus several years ago. At the time I had not realized that this was where Bill was stationed - I mean I knew he was stationed there but I was not told that "there" was were we were when I was booked to talk - when I was here - if you get my drift.

INCOMPLETE DRAFT___MORE>>>>> BEING ADDED TONIGHT

John Z Update - PLEASE STAND BY

2008-11-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

An Update. It isn't that the John Z situation hasn't been progress. It is just that so much has happened it seems impossible for me to update and remain current at the same time. This is to be a real "Reality Blog"with events unfolding as they occur. As you know blogging this is not the only writing that I do and I have a full family life besides. So here what I have decided to do:

Beginning with the next post I will post in "real-time" - as of now - and begin filling in up to that point as quickly as I can eventually catching up to the present.

Think of it as one of those big ol' analog clocks like the giant brown and white ones with the huge black hands that you had in elementary school - that daylight savings time sped up or slowed down automatically to finally catch up to the actual time.

Thanks for everyone patience. Right now John is sober. Again. Although he is on very shaky ground as he has yet to have the spiritual awakening. The chronology as it fills in will make it all abundantly clear.

Also I expect to present some video and audio of John as he actually "takes" the steps and we go through them together. It should prove interesting.

This is not for any financial or egotistical gain, by the way. They reason for this Reality Blog is simply to show others how it works in real life - that is DOES work in real life - and perhaps to surprise a few people who thought they were doing the deal, when perhaps they had not ever really been shown just what that entails.

I estimate that by the end of this weekend there will daily updates - this is a daily avocation after all - so please check back and don't lose faith in me - or John Z.

Unlike when we used to drink - we actually DO do what we say we are going to do. We do that when we recover. Amazing. Isn't it?

Peace,

Danny S

Where or Where has John Z Gone?

2008-10-08T14:59:00.001-07:00

John has for all intent an purposes fallen off the face of the earth. I cannot seem to raise him on the phone and any messages I leave are going unanswered.

It does not look good. Prospects who continue to drink will do this sort of thing. Experience in working with alkies over the last ten years tells me what is more often than not means - that the prospect has once again succumbed to the insanity of the first drink once again.

Either that or he just wants to drink - in which case there is nothing to be done.

I owe it to him to find out which is the case.

I will have to go visit him at his house tomorrow to see what the hell is going on. I really need to find out if John is a real alcoholic or not. What is his truth? It is only HIS TRUTH that counts right now.

Peace,

Danny S

Crushing Blow

2008-10-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Giving John Z a hopeless case of alcoholism

When one “Tells his story” to another drunk there is this supposed this ‘magic thing’ that occurs - a bonding of humanity that many people believe will ensure the sobriety of the new person. They believe this to be the ‘identification’ necessary to make another drunk not ever want to drink again. That is complete and utter bullshit. Yet some people want to continue to imagine it to be true.

True identification - the deep visceral and complete kind that happens when one alcoholic talks to another comes only when that talk is of things so visceral and so deep and complete that there can be nothing to disrupt the final conclusion - that I either AM or AM NOT one of you.

"He wow, man, I hacked up my mother law into a million little pieces and dumped her into the Atlantic too" -- just won't cut it - no pun intended -- no matter how similarly unique we feel about our experience.

If you identify with someone like this - you may become the best of friends - so go start a freakin club or something - but this alone will not bring about the necessary trust that can happen only at the deepest and innermost levels of conscious and unconsciousness required to do the near-impossible-yet-very-possible thing necessary to recover from terminal alcoholism - that is to say have " a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps." (Step Twelve)

Complete trust is necessary because the Program is so demanding. When someone cannot do it it is because they are not desperate enough to go to any length and they convert the steps off the Program and stick blame on the sponsor. He was TOO RIGID - he was TOO STRICT. He was a Step Nazi! One of the foulest names any of us have ever been called.

The late Joe Hawk, one of our good friends in fellowship of spirit once asked, “What must be in the mind of a person who call another member a name like “Nazi?’” You would not want to be living inside of that person’s head, would you?

Driving John home from the meeting I am able to give him prime examples out of my personal arsenal of stories that clearly illustrate the two things with which John must identify. I like to tell these stories as if they are simply part of our off the cuff friendly chat - but I really am working him into step one. How is this Step one? Well, John needs to be able to admit that he is alcoholic right? How can he do that if does not know what we mean by “alcoholic”? He cannot.

So I have to show him what we mean - so that he can determine if he fits the description. I cannot tell him but he must discover his own truth. He needs to hear me tell what I have learned about alcoholism and response with, “Holy SHIT! I know what you mean!” Or ‘” Jesus Christ guy. That’s too bad for you fella.” He might not. Not right away.

Do you remember the story of Fred the Accountant? When Fred was first “twelve stepped” he said, “Thanks for the info.” and went away not believing that he was as bad off as the guys telling him their stories. He caught up with their stories soon enough though. Down the road a bit he drank again despite his lack of desire to do so - or should I say despite his great desire to "not drink" anymore - and ol' Freddie Boy finally realized that he was every bit “as bad” as those AA fellows.

"It was a crushing blow." Fred admitted.

Right now, I cannot tell if John is there where Fred the Accountant was or not. John seems to be a good listener and for now I do have his full attention. He listens intently to each of the two legs that hold up my story - the one about obsession and the other about physical craving. I then ask him if to tell me about his drinking. His responses are disappointing. I was expecting John to jump out of his skin like so many do when I explain how I reacted as was affected by alcohol. Instead he jumped intellectually. His astonishment was how he had never heard alcoholism explained in this manner before despite that he had been coming to AA “since the seventies” as he puts it. Most people to whom you plain alcoholism the way it is explained in the Big Book have never heard it before. John Z is no exception.

I am not quite sure about John yet. We need to do more. Despite my attempt - John has thus far been unable to take step one. That usually means that I have a non-alcoholic - perhaps problem drinker - but non-alcoholic never-the-less - on my hands. If that is the case, I need to really be sure before I cut him lose and give him the news.

Is it good news or bad news? That is a question that even I wrestle with continuously. If one is NOT an alcoholic and one still have horrible problems as the result of heavy drinking - the solution can become a long drawn out process of rehabilitate, counseling and even trial and error and relapse is an option. While real alcoholics have a Program that is fast acting, effective and permanent. But is the most drastic and difficult one to follow. It is a matter of perception, I guess.

Before I let John out of the car I ask him one final question - a question without the answer to which we cannot proceed and could mean the difference between life or death, recovery and suffering. Johns answer to that question gave me hope - the hope that maybe John will receive his crushing blow.

No, I am not satisfied that he is a real alcoholic and this answer was the hope that I needed in order to continue with him.

"John, do you want to stop drinking forever?" I asked him.

"Danny, I have to." he said. He was halfway out of the car with one foot on the street and one still on the carpeting in my car.

"But do you want to?" I asked again. "I didn't ask you if it was necessary - any asshole might see that you are fucked if you don't. What I want to know John is . . . do you John . . . want to stop drinking today and for everyday hereafter? It's a simple question, John."

"Well than I will give you a simple answer. Yes." he said, and that is all he said and is all I want to know - for now anyway.

Approaching John Z

2008-10-07T02:12:00.000-07:00

Work is beginning this week with John Z. He is fully detoxed and although things haven't been going as smoothly as it could - we are still on firm ground. He does not think so, but John is still at the stage where he does not fully realize the ramification of his commitment. Boy will he be surprised.

I will bring this all up to current time-line and blog as we proceed, but first a little background on John Z. I met John Z about six months ago at a twelve step Fellowship meeting. It was a fairly large meeting considering the norm for the area - well over a hundred - standing room only. It was an ‘open speaker meeting’ which I will describe for the uninitiated at some later point. I honestly do not recall just how exactly I became introduced to John except that perhaps I may have gone right up to him because I learned that he was brand new or at least 'young” in sobriety. That is how I meet most protégées - in meetings. It is the reason I go. That is after all why meetings exist in the first place - so that suffering and yet un-recovered alcoholics can come to meet the recovered alcoholics - in the second place. There the ill can meet the well who are armed with the facts about themselves and who will pass on the common solution that they found - that had similarly been passed on to them.

Most people who are sitting in meetings do not have a dedicated person to help them with the Twelve Step Program, sadly. Approaching such a person can sometimes result in a obtaining a new protégée. Usually you will be told “I have a sponsor” and it is often not true. Either it is a flat out lie or there is someone whom they call “sponsor” floating around somewhere in some chruch basement - but that sponsor has not a clue on how to take that newcomer through the twelve steps and has himself yet to recover from alcoholism as the Program details in the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous”. Either that or the "sponsor" is telling them to take their time to take the steps and that they will NEVER recover. Where on Gods grey earth do they get that shit anyway?

John did not have a ride home because he had lost his license to DUIs -- of course he had -- but lived nearby in Hyannis not far from my house, coincidentally. We would have some time to talk together in the car. I would begin to run the routine on him - in other words ‘QUALIFY’ him. If I were to devote my time to him, I would need to know whether or not he was a real alcoholic. He might not be. If that were the case I would need to move on to someone I could help. I got to know him a bit. I turns out that he ha been trying to get sober for over twenty years - bouncing in and out of AA meetings and never picked up the twelve step program. He had been “spun dried” umpteen times in various facilities and probably had more experience within the walls of those facilities than many of the counselors and staff who working in them. He knew all the ins and outs because he had been in and out so often. He knew they had their efforts with him had been useless.

I began Step One on him right in the car - conversationally, as is my usual practice in situations such as these. I started telling him my own story being careful to depict the only two aspects of alcoholism that all alcoholics have in common: First, the Mental part - which manifests as an insane obsession to drink at all - and the physical part which manifests in a craving once I did drink. This part comes AFTER the mental portion of the formula has done it’s thing. I gave him my elevator story and then told him of the “Inch of Sweet Red” incident.

I told several stories out of my life which clearly illustrate these. I have given these examples many many times when speaking before groups or conducting Step Workshops or they can probably be found online, somewhere. I think About.com has it, for one place.

Next post: John's Step One reaction - The unexpected happens when John hears the stories?

Peace,

Danny S

The Reality Blog

2008-10-02T03:29:00.000-07:00

STEP TWELVE ADVENTURES

A real-time reality documentary about alcoholism and how the recover for alcoholism

This is a 'Reality Blog'. It is not a blog about reiality shows it is itself a "show" - an Blog that is the reality show itself. Yes, I suppose it is an odd genre of blogging I admit - actually probably not a legitimate genre at all - not until today at least. So "Let there be Reality Blogs"

What I mean by calling this a 'Reality Blog' is probably what you think I mean. All that you read, see and hear will be authentic without embellishment and without use of fictional characters, scripts or plots. The only 'script' per se will be the actual directions - all of which will be used verbatim and as published in the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter Seven, "Working With Others".

The subjects being documented are real people in a real life or death situation - afflicted with a real life-or-death malady. We know it to be alcoholism.

Each case will play out exactly as it does without me or anyone but God knowing what the outcome will be.

You all know what Reality TV is. Well, this is like that except that I will be Blogging and you will be reading real life stories as they happen - without scripting -Oh yeah right like Reality TV isn't scripted . . . oh puhleeeze - instead of me producing and you watching. Simple concept right?

I am reasonably sure that we are coining a phrase here "Reality Blog" - and it is a fantastic idea so don't be surprised if you begin hearing of other kinds of Blogs calling themselves "Reality" Blogs - if that happens we'll just say that imitation is the flattering - but I think it is only fitting that the honor of the origin of this invention goes to real alcoholics everywhere.

It's main purpose is to educate, inform and perhaps sometimes entertain by presenting and documenting real-time Twelve Stepping events as they happen - as near live as it gets.

I shall document - this is "Documentary" and I will be presenting the start of each case, proceeds and finishes. When possible I will also be providing actual video and audio of many of these twelve step encounters. Close Encounters of the Twelfth Kind.

The very first case is John Z from Hyannis, MA. John has been working in this deal now for several weeks and I will be bringing you up to date on how that went, post haste.

John is being released from a detox facility on Thursday, October 2 at which time we will go "live" with his case which you will be able to follow right here.

Please stay tuned as this will be a Daily Reality Blog.

Remember that what you see here is the real deal. No bullshit. No molly coddling of drunks. No "Keep coming back" crap.

Documented here will be real Twelve Step approaches, qualifications, presentations of the solution to alcoholism. Just a warning: Some of the cases here, may die before our eyes - some by acute illness, others perhaps by their own hand. We in the field have learned to face and deal with this reality and if you wish to be a regular reader you may need to also. God willing some cases will pick up the spiritual tools from the kit laid before them - have a spiritual awakening and the consequential recovery from alcoholism. They will know permanent recovery from the malady without effort on their part and if we are really blessed - that is 'lucky' for you agnostics out there - love you guys - we will in time see second generational work with others with precisely the same results.

To clearly show the world that recovery from alcoholism is not only possible but common enough among many of us who have a spiritual path to follow is the Primary Purpose of this Reality Blog. It is not for me to sell more books and articles nor to establish myself as a recovery Guru. I don't know anymore abouit this than anyone else who uses the book to carry this message. There are many of us.

There will be sound bytes and video when possible and appropriate (Anonymity of course always respected)

Bill W, Doctor Bob S could never have foreseen such a thing as the internet. The word 'BLOG' would more likely have been ascribed to a horror movie - like "The Blog that ate St. Louis" or something else just as silly. Hell when those guys were doing this stuff "talkies" we barely a decade old. I know there will be some old-timers who cringe at this idea of a Reality Blog - that anonymity is being violated. I say, "screw em'" If they had any idea what anonymity really meant they'd be out doing exactly the same thing I am.

Still there is likely to be those who will spend more time trying to figure out what is wrong with a Reality Blog dedicated to those who suffer from alcoholism. They will try to figure out which of AA's Traditions are being violated and perhaps even civil laws broken - who knows? And who gives a freakin' fudge? I don't. For those folks I have this advice: Put the same time and effort toward a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous and your life will begin to take shape in ways you could never imagine.

What is a Twelve Stepping Event?

A “Twelfth Stepping event” for the purposes of this ‘Reality Blog’ will be the chronicling of the direction detailed din the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” by one alcoholic to another. Each presentation shall be carried through complete with results - positive or negative. Many know these ‘events’ as “Twelve Step Calls”.

(more coming)

Prospect

2008-09-15T16:32:00.001-07:00

Name: John Z.

Age: 47 years old

Marital Status: Divorced

Relationships: Long term girlfriend of 12 years

Children: 21 year old daughter (also problematic drinker)

AA experience: Yes. 20 years

Longest sober time: 2 years.

Occupation: Food Service
Treatment Facilities/Rehabs: YES. approx 20